[The living room of the Sharma family. There is a sofa, a lamp-stand and a full-length mirror on the side.]
[Surpanakha is still mopping the floor in a corner. Sita enters, freshly showered and dressed glam. She stands in front of the mirror and pirouettes in her heels]
Sita: Surpanakha. How do I look?
Surkpanakha: [Without looking up] Bahut subdar baby.
Sita: Uff. You aren’t even looking. And don’t call me ‘Baby’ na. I am twenty four years old now.
Surpanakha: Ji Baby.
[Naniji enters on a wheelchair]
Naniji: Sita Bitiya!
Sita: Ji Naniji.
Naniji: Going somewhere?
Sita: Umm yes – meeting some fiends.
Naniji: [Grinning] Friends or some special ‘friend’?
Sita: Umm. Yes – it’s Rahul.
[Maydum (Sita’s mother) has entered by now]
Mum: Sita Bitiya!
Sita: Yes Mum.
Mum: Going somewhere?
Sita: Yes – having dinner with Rahul.
Mum: [Looking Sita over] All decked up I see. Heel sheel and all.
Naniji: [Looking Sita over] Hmm... Nice heels.
Mum: The lipstick does not go with the dress. What do you think, mum?
Naniji: Kyaa pata beta. The only time your father took me out was to the college chai waala. And I was wearing a sarree. But yes – the lipstick does look a bit off. Sita beta – don’t throw yourself at him like this.
Sita: Naniji! I am not! Hmpf!
Naniji: Give him something out of you collection na beta. You toh are an old hag now. Someone has to use all that stuff your sister got you from
Mum: Mum! I am not! Hmpf!
[Thinks for a moment]
Actually, Sita beta – try a duller shade. Mum is right. Don’t throw yourself at him. This is the big question day. Don’t blow it?
Sita: Mum! [pauses] What big question day?
Mum: As if you did not know!
Sita: What!
Mum: I have raised an imbecile! How long have you been seeing each other?
Sita: Umm… Three years.
Mum: And he just got promoted.
Sita: Er… Yes.
Mum: How old is he?
Sita: 28
Mum: And he just got posted to their New York Office.
Sita: Yes. But…
Mum: On an H1-B
Sita: Yes – but how do you know all this? And what has this got to do with the ‘big’ question?
Mum: [Exasperated] Hai Raam!
Naniji: What this has got to do with the ‘big’ question, Sita bitiya, is that he just bought an 8 carat solitaire set in white gold.
Sita: [Awestruck] EEEEEEEEEEEE! [pauses] How do you know this?
Naniji: He bought it from your Mehra aunty’s store. She goes to Gita classes with me.
Mum: [Snootily] White gold? Hmpf! Could not afford 22 carat could he?
Naniji: Beta! White gold is more expensive.
Sita: Yes mum. Its platinum!
Mum: Oh.
Sita: And its way classier than gold.
Mum: It is?
[Sita and Naniji look at each other]
Naniji: I have raised an imbecile.
Sita: [looking at her watch] Ooh I am late! Surpanakha! Tell Lakshman to get the car out!
Mum and Naniji: All the best beta!
Sita: Huh! I dunno. I am just going to dinner. And besides, I am just twenty four. [Moving towards the door]
Mum: [yelling behind her] He will be making a hundred thousand dollars a year.
Sita: [exiting] Money can’t buy everything!
Naniji: [yelling]
Sita: [Offstage] Saddi Dilli!
[Pause. Mum and Naniji look at each other.]
Mum and Naniji together: We have raised an imbecile.
[Fade out]