[The stage is dark. The audience is just about settling down on their seats. All the modern publicity and sponsorship has meant that the auditorium is jam-packed.
The third bell rings.
The auditorium lights dim, then darken. The stage remains darker still.
Suddenly, the relative peace of the audience is shattered by ten bright strobe-torches that light up in the hands of the ushers. The strobes pierce through the darkness and start randomly scanning the faces of the seated audience.]
U1: All right men – fan out! Start looking.
[The ushers spread all over, flashing lights on the faces of the audience]
U2: Who are we looking for?
U1: It’s a girl. Young woman.
U3: [Spotting a young girl in the audience] I have found her! I have found her!
U4: [Spotting another girl] Me too! Me too!
U5, U6 and U7: And here too!
U1: [Barking] No idiots, our target’s name is Sita.
U2: Uh…Boss!
U1: Yes?
U2: Sita kaun hai?
U1: Idiot! Sita! Sita as in Raam Waali Sita.
U3: Isn’t she long dead?
U1: No. She is here. [Raising his voice] Keep looking, guys.
[The guys keep looking]
[They scour the entire audience, asking people by name if they are Sita.]
U5: There! On the stage!
[The ushers swoop down on the aisle in front of the stage. They point their torches to focus on a young woman on her hands and knees mopping the floor. The young woman is startled and squints at the many lights pointing at her]
U1: You! You must be Sita!
Surpanakha: Nahin Saheb. I am Surpanakha. Sita baby to
U1:
Surpanakha: [Batting her eyelids] Nahin Saheb. Sita kaun hai?
U1: Idiot! Sita! Raam waali Sita. Men, this must be some mistake. Keep looking! Keep Looking!
[The ushers keep looking and gradually exit the auditorium from the many exits, the wings, etc]
[Surpanakha keeps mopping the floor]
Surpanakha: Sita kaun hai? [She asks absently] Who knows Sita kaun hai? I toh am Surpanakha. I do the jhaadu pocha and bartan. Basanti cooks. Lakshman is he driver. Saheb is retiring next year, Maydum does nothing. Naniji reads the Gita. And yes – I was telling the truth. Sita baby is really having a bath. But as for Raam waali Sita… Sita kaun hai? Pativrata Sita, Sati Saavitri Sita. Sita kahaan hai? Who knows? Who cares? [looking up at the audience] Do you? Does Sita?
[She goes back to mopping the floor]
[Fade Out]